Edward St. Cavalier, unknown, 28 years old
Terrence Girondo, worried financier, 30 years old
Philodendron, plant in the corner, 5 years old
Chorus of five Golden Acolytes
The scene is laid in the lobby of the Trotting Pony, the last working music hall in the former United States of America. It is the year 2212 and it is 3 o’clock in the afternoon.
Act 1
(The stage is lit dimly by candles on the walls. There is a dilapidated ticket booth on the stage right wall. There is a set of double doors on the stage left wall. These are the doors out of the building. There is a window on the stage left back wall thick with dirt. Very little light can be seen through the window. There are a set of swinging double doors stage center on the back wall. These doors lead directly to the concert hall. There are framed posters on the back wall advertising musical events from one hundred and ten years ago. The room is carpeted red and the walls are a dark gold. The room should have a musty look with dust hanging from the pictures and a slight haze in the air. PHILODENDRON sits in the stage left corner of the room. TERRENCE leans against the desk of the dilapidated ticket booth smoking a cigarette.)
(EDWARD enters from swinging double doors stage back center smoking a cigarette. EDWARD leans against the back wall next to the double door and blows out a puff of smoke.)
Edward: Care to explain what all that was?
Terrence: You still don’t get it? I thought I was pretty clear.
Edward: No, I understand. I Just thought you were bigger than all that.
(TERRENCE turns from the ticket booth and stands facing EDWARD.)
Terrence: Okay, fuck you. (TERRENCE points accusingly at EDWARD.) Let me tell you a little story. Last night I’m walking home and I see a little kid on the side of the road. I nod at him as I’m walking by and he just stares at me. Just stares. No smiles. Nothing. Kids are supposed to be congenial and fun-loving. Fuckin’ kid plays fuckin’ rainman on me. So, I shrug it off and keep…
Edward: Rainman? What is that?
Terrence: I don’t know. It’s just something I heard some guy say the other day at the Distrip.
(EDWARD turns to a poster on the wall and starts to pick dust off of it.)
Edward: Yeah, but what does it mean? I’ve never heard of a ‘rainman’. We’ve never talked about them before. How am I supposed to get the reference if you just drop it in conversation like I’m supposed to…
Terrence: Just shut the fuck up! It doesn’t matter! I won’t say it anymore! (TERRENCE flicks an ash on the ground and grinds it out with his foot.) So, I’m walking away from this kid and all of a sudden a brick hits me in the square of the back. Fuckin’ hard too. I turn around to see who did it and another brick hits me in the shoulder. This fuckin’ kid is chucking fucking bricks at me.
(EDWARD turns from the poster to look at TERRENCE and then turns his attention to the dirty window.)
Edward: You know, nobody is gonna come in here if we don’t clean this window. This place looks great on the inside, but if they see the window like this they’re not gonna come inside. They need to be able to see in and know that they’re not walking into an ambush or something.
(TERRENCE turns back to the ticket booth and takes a long drag on his cigarette. TERRENCE takes in too much smoke and starts to cough.)
Edward: You okay?
(TERRENCE turns his head to look at EDWARD and then turns away.)
Terrence: No. I’m up to my fuckin’ eyeballs in problems and you’re playin’ the same fucking game you always do. I’m trying to talk about something serious and you’re not even fuckin’ listenin’.
Edward: I am listening Terrence. I just don’t let little stuff bother me. If I let stuff like what you’re talking about bother me I wouldn’t be doing this in the first place.
(TERRENCE walks stage right towards the door exiting the building. PHILODENDRON sits in the stage left corner of the room.)
Terrence: Yeah, but this wasn’t a little thing. A kid tossing fuckin’ bricks at me is not a little thing. And this is just one of the fuckin’ million stories I’ve got since I started working with you. Remember that time those five guys stopped me at the city limits and took my clothes? Or the time that woman threatened me with a sword? A sword! Who the fuck even carries a sword?
(TERRENCE kicks the double-door exiting the building and flicks an ash onto the floor. EDWARD walks stage left toward the ticket booth.)
Edward: Yeah, but that was all Acolyte business and you knew you were getting into that when we started. We both did. This kid was just…
(TERRENCE turns stage left towards EDWARD and holds up two fingers.)
Terrence: Two things: First, this shit doesn’t affect you nearly as much as it does me. Your name isn’t all over this project. I sign for everything and the Acolytes hold me accountable for the entire fucking thing, so don’t make it sound like we share this. Second, the brick-thrower was Acolyte business. I went to smack the kid and two huge fuckin’ guys came out of nowhere to flank him. The kid looked me up and down and told me to get my shit together and stop the project. He was a fuckin’ five year-old and he was telling me to get my shit together. Well, fuck him.
(EDWARD arrives at the ticket booth and jumps up to sit on the counter. EDWARD flicks an ash onto the counter.)
Edward: The Acolytes are using kids now? Since when did they ever care about kids? They’re not worried about the future. Why recruit the next generation?
(TERRENCE shakes his head at EDWARD and turns stage right to look out the window.)
Terrence: It’s not about fuckin’ kids Edward. I’m telling you, we’re about to get fucked by these guys. They know what’s goin’ on and they’re gonna stop it from happening. After the kid gave me shit he told me that this was the last warning. I have no idea how the fuck they know, but they do and they’re starting to cut our legs out from under us. All the people financing us have backed out and nobody else wants to give us money. Every place I go to now shows me the fuckin’ door before I even open my mouth.
(TERRENCE takes a drag off his cigarette and stands quiet for a minute.)
Terrence: We’re out of money.
Edward: Whatever, I ran the numbers this morning and we have just enough to pull off the one performance.
Terrence: Yeah, with my money. If this performance happens I’m broke. The only money we have to pay everyone with is all I have left and, as we’re not charging entrance fees, I’ll be fuckin’ flat broke. Who’s gonna support me then? You? You haven’t got a fuckin’ pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of.
Edward: The money doesn’t matter. The players probably don’t expect to get paid this time. At least, I don’t think they do. Either way it doesn’t matter.
(EDWARD hops off the ticket booth and leans against the counter.)
Edward: And if you’re so worried about money then why are you smoking again?
Terrence: Fuck you. (TERRENCE holds the cigarette up towards EDWARD) I need this.
Edward: Whatever. (EDWARD takes a long drag on his cigarette and blows it out.) Look, I need you to hold together for a few more days and when it’s all over we can leave this behind us. The world is never gonna change if we don’t start somewhere.
Terrence: Yeah, whatever. I’m fine. I’m just tired of thinking about all of this shit. (TERRENCE leans against the wall and continues to look out the window.) But I swear to God, if one more kid throws a brick at me I’m out. You’ll never see me again. Poof. In the wind.
(TERRENCE moves his hand like a leaf in the wind. EDWARD walks towards the double doors on the center stage back wall.)
Edward: Just throw a brick back man.
(EDWARD exits through the back center stage double doors.)
Terrence: Throw one back. What an asshole.
(TERRENCE takes a final drag on his cigarette and grinds it out on the windowsill. TERRENCE sees something outside the window and turns to run into the concert hall. Five GOLDEN ACOLYTES enter dressed in black three piece suits. The gender, race, and age of these actors are superfluous. The GOLDEN ACOLYTES subdue TERRENCE and bring him center stage on his knees with his hands bound behind his back with rope.)
Golden Acolyte #1: What are you doing here? You were warned yesterday.
Golden Acolyte #2: Didn't you understand? We were under the impression that our request was very clear.
Terrence: No, I understand.
Golden Acolyte #3: Yes, you do understand. You just don’t care. That's the problem. That's your flaw.
(TERRENCE does not respond. There is a moment of silence. GOLDEN ACOLYTE #3 pulls a gun from his breast coat pocket and swiftly shoots TERRENCE in the back of the head. TERRENCE falls to the ground. His body shakes and blood pours from the back of his head onto the lobby floor. The body of TERRENCE begins to convulse rapidly and then goes still. TERRENCE dies. The GOLDEN ACOLYTES exit stage right. PHILODENDRON sits in the stage left corner of the room. The stage goes black.)
End of Act 1
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